International Rally 2004

11th - 13th June 2004

(Report by Martin Yates - Centre 10)

My first International rally and to a place I love...Holland, but not just for Amsterdam and all "that" offers, but the chance to enjoy the delights of dyke roads, great tarmac etc. Well, getting to Harwich was a doddle for me, being only 30 miles down the road and onto the HSS we rode, only to be crammed into an area on the top storey, with a bun fight to get enough decent tie-down straps. Still, we're on holiday now......

Arrive at the Hoek and a nice surprise to see the VSC Nederland guys and gals waiting to escort us to Borculo (wherever that was, didn't look far on the map!). Off we go in about 4 separate groups and then it starts raining and then we're on the motorway/s for 3+ hours, losing a few UK contingent on the way...god that journey felt forever.

No worries, Borculo beckons, in we drive, great registration and reception....this is it.....a rally, great. Pitch the tents, check out the loos and showers (what, only 3 showers, 2 bogs and no urinals for 400+ bikers, this will be interesting, and so it was, especially after 6 pints and no loo paper....my arse is still sore from using the cardboard roll....fingers look nice though...is this nicotine?....I don't smoke!)

Thursday night we take it easy, great conversations and laughter galore.....I blame big Steve, can't miss him with those yellow braces. Friday arrives and passes quickly, can't really remember what we did that day, oh yes, quick ride into Borculo to check out the town, almost sugar and spice design, these Dutch are so tidy, but where are they?...do the locals only come out at night?......then the fun begins.......more members and old friends turn up on site, yet another huge British contingent, we're dominating the place now, but are held at bay by those tall lot from Sweden, who was that big guy that looked like Desperate Dan?.....time to get our glad rags on, where's my stupid Machu Pitchu knitted hat and why are Centre 10 taking the piss out of me for not wearing black, black and black, I like multi-coloured Hawaiian shirts.

I think you know the rest, dinner of a unusual variety, pasta and celery salad...for us hairy arsed bikers?, who do they think we are, the slimmer world club?, still, the tokens are a good idea (take note whoever holds the next international...saves having to carry around a load of coins) ......and then the band starts up, I thought they were great, especially interrupted by the roar of bikes followed by a tantalising sight of 5 naked women sitting astride them, I nearly dropped my chips!, but wasn't that keen on the 2 naked blokes, not my scene.

Anyway, a good night had by all and I had to take some drunken member back to base camp and trying to find his tent based on a description of "it's small and I don't know the colour" was not easy in the blackest of nights......and later, having to get up at 4am for a pee, what is that bloke doing sitting on the bench by the bunk block?..."can't sleep" he says, "snoring surrounding me, they're all right, but I'm not"

Saturday arrives, it's ride-out time at 11am....bloody stupid time for that...the thick head always seems to kick in about then, where's that black coffee?......still, with 300+ bikes in one convoy, this will be some sight to behold.......and it was, (after the humiliating start at my battery letting me down and having to be initiated in bump starting a XV1100 for the first time...it doesn't work in Top, but it always did with the car!!).....convoy away.....at 25mph for 35 miles with just narrow tree lined roads and same scenery everywhere, still, lunch is the next stopping point....I'm looking forward to that (bread rolls and cheese and ham for breakfast can't replace a big fry-up)

Lunch?.....it looked like breakfast again, had someone made a mistake or do the Dutch like bread, cheese and ham at every meal...and then the heavens opened and all of a sudden, a mass exodus of bikers....dick heads, they'd left their helmets hanging off the bars and the lids were filling with water...that was fun.....and then off we go again in convoy at 25mph!...still, another good boogie night to look forward too, preceded by the heavens opening once back at camp, but the company was still a hoot.

it's 7pm at night and what shall I wear this time?, the rainbow t-shirt looks nice with the beige trousers, but that idea was trashed when again, centre 10 start taking the piss, so I relented and put jeans and a black Norton t-shirt on. (or was that last night?).....can't remember much of Saturday night, oh yes, raw meat and 5 Barbie's for 400,,....VERY INTIMATE and novel! (you must come to my Pavlova BBQ day, I'll show you how the professionals do it)

or maybe it was that drinking competition I had with Tony on who could down that De Kyper Orange drink in thimble size glasses, only £4 a bottle but wow, 30% proof!......Lesley, his missus, was not amused "he shouldn't be drinking that stuff given the tablets he's on".....bye Tony, early night is it?..."yes dear, I'm coming", (he threatened me with death next day and Lesley wasn't a happy bunny, what did I do?)

Suffice to say, Sunday came, we went off to Arnham to see a bridge too far.....one of the members was ex para regiment who always wanted to see it....funny thing though, Arnham seems to close on Sundays, not a soul around. That night, we decide to dine at Borculos local Chinese but great minds think alike and we double book for 10...no worries, I'm sure another 10 will tun up, and so they did, the Rally organisers. Well, we took the restaurant over but I don't think we pressurised the early local diners to leave early...was it our leathers and black gear that put the shits up them?....that night, I'd never laughed so much, my sides hurt and typical, Steve has to do a moonie on the walk back, any opportunity.

Monday, sad day, almost everyone gone home, why does it have to be so short?....pack my gear, bloody bike battery lets me down again (must get a new one when I get home), then I'm volunteered to lead our group of 11 back to the Hoek.....actually, it went very well, no-one lost on the way. The Hoek arrives, Anthony says, as I've lost my ticket, no worries, the computer system will confirm he had tickets .....wait for this.........."sorry sir, but you were booked on yesterdays ferry"........poor Anthony (yet he was the guy who won the bucking broncho award)...anyway, the nice girl behind the desk sorts him out, we get on the HSS again, easy trip over but wait, now time to get back on the bikes before she docks and I know, lets start the bikes up now!!!........50 bikes all coughing out CO2, "we're dying at the back here" (didn't intend to commit suicide at our age)..."turn the fuckers off"...they do, apart from one arsehole, not a VSOC member, guess who................a Harley biker......well fancy that?....and you know what, even though I went right upto him and asked kindly to turn his engine off, he looked at me as I'd arrived from outer space and ignored my request....are they all so friendly?

Will I go on an International again?...you bet I will, had a fantastic time, made new friends and started work today suitable spaced out and refreshed and looking forward to the local Essex rally in a few weeks time.....

Thanks to all who entertained me and I take my hat off to the Nederlands Club who organised it, not an easy task.......Martin "flat battery" Yates, Centre 10 (East Anglia)

Int'l Rally Photos - including the Naked Girls (and blokes!)...

login to: http://photos.fotango.com

The username is : viragostar
The password is: xv1100

Centre 15 (The Smugglers) also has a great write up here on their website...
www.vsocxv.co.uk/dutch_rally2004.htm

For more pictures of the Rally - click here....
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/rejectnews/photographs_2004.htm

and here....
http://www.lostriders.co.uk/holland_pics.html